Sky left today…Back to Whidbey Island, Washington. I miss her already. I am sitting in the room where she slept and feeling around for her energy… The sweetness of her…The strength of her…The will of her…The goodness and kindness of her… Her life force…I have to admit that there are tears traveling down my face and I am feeling a tad bit sorry for myself. Ok… I’m sobbing. Although this exile of mine is an active choice, the words to that 80’s song are running though my head; “alone again, naturally”… Boo Hoo Babe, Buck up!
As my eldest daughter; Sky and I, have traveled many roads together. She is strong and passionate, a bit tilted, a lot of fun, and loves the rocks. One day they will speak to her as they speak to me. Her dog, Buster, changed my mind and heart about Pit Bulls as a breed. He is the most amiable, jovial, and respectful individual I have ever had the privilege of sharing space with. He has really smelly farts, which makes him not perfect…Thank the stars! Not for smelly farts, for non-perfection.
The wind… Who knew that it could make sand feel like thousands of red hot needles poking wherever bare skin is exposed. Even though it was 75 degrees, long sleeves are not optional attire. Mandatory… Unless of course micro-derma-abrasion was on the list of things to do today…and yesterday…and the day before! Hmmm…Maybe I will go out and lift my face to the wind… might remove the lines that seem to be deepening in this parched, yet charged, atmosphere. Don’t get me wrong. I love this place. It is so beautiful, energetic, and spiritually alive.
The desert has started to green up…So many shades of green you would not have thought possible, contrasting against the red and white rock and deep blue sky. Takes my breath right away! Oh…no… That’s the wind… robbing me of breath as I walk Jack, face down, cheeks stinging, almost crawling…Jack is my anchor. Yoda is burrowed deep down into my shirt. Every now and then she pops her little tiny head out and then fixes me with the evil eye… I tried to dissuade her from joining us on this walk, but she has to have her own way! My perfect companion!
Easter…
For the past thirty years in Washington I have always either been the music or the minister for Easter… So I invited New Mexico into my home to celebrate the renewal and resurrection of life with me. A few people came. Some I knew…Some I know now…
I met a man, whom if I closed my eyes, and didn’t hear the depth of his voice, I would have sworn was me, myself. I wondered what my words were doing coming out of his mouth… Kind of creepy, but we were finishing or beginning each other’s sentences. I think that if conventional people were listening to us, they either would have rolled their eyes…or committed us…to…you know…WU WU land! That is where I am headed. New song… Goes something like this…
“I’m going to WU WU land; maybe I’ll see you there!” You gotta be willing to shed your skin…and to make your breath… a…prayer!” I can’t help it! I think in rhymes!
So that’s it, except someone stole my license today when I was shopping in Santa Fe at one of the several organic grocery stores. The store called me and said they found it in the trash in the women’s bathroom. Probably whoever took it found the 4’11”, 100 lbs, thing daunting… So tossed it…Lucky for me… AND a very drunk driver pulled out in front of me by the Abiquiu Lake. There is no cell service up here, to call TOO TOO DRUNK, so I followed safely about ¼ mile behind him, going 40 in a 65 zone. Sheesh! Drink and STAY PUT!
On Good Friday, Sky and I were driving into Santa Fe and all of a sudden came to a screeching halt. A fatality accident had happened 12 hours before and was still being investigated and cleared so the roads were backed up for miles. Three people lost their lives, and they were still laying, under white plastic, on the hi-way. They died under a billboard on the freeway that said “There is a fine line between your family and a drunk driver”. The driver of the car had 17 DUI’s. All the passengers of that car were killed, the people in the other cars he hit, survived.
It is not simple, living inside this skin. Our choices are not always rational, healthy, or unselfish. We damage ourselves and sometimes, many times, each other… We do not always consider the consequences…Sometimes, we don’t give a damn. Yet our actions are always ripples in a pond. We always affect the whole.
And in this time of resurrection and renewal…we rise again, we open our eyes, we breathe in the air, we thank God we’re alive… We have survived… We rise again…
And that is the beauty of it. Life continues because of us… or…in spite of us…